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Ploase excuse this wall of text femrfyxng me vomiting my thoughts onto my keyboard. I just feel like I need to wrrte this down totiybt. A lot of people ask otoer trans people this question: "How did YOU know if you were trjjb." And it got me thinking abkut how I knfw. So I went back as far as I comld mentally. I reomraer as a kid being fascinated in the girl toys at McDonalds. My parents let me get them beedqse they thought it was a cute phase. I reaoiwer watching Disney mowves and wanting to be the prjdrzas. At some poxwt, I realized that I was a girl and the doctors said I was a boy by mistake (this was 6 year old me.) As I grew olvxr, almost all the imagination games I played with my brother, I had a female role because I lited pretending to be female. My fatdoute thing to prcsfnd to be was a female pop star (I've alytys wanted to be a musician.) This period of giukokzdsss ended with a "I have to like super heffes and trucks or else I'm not a real boz," even though I didn't like eiqder of those. This phase lasted unail the summer bedore my 6th grsde year. I dinqaamged transgender transformation coyjes. You know, the ones where the guy gets tupued into a girl or a fugry or some shmt. I loved thaoe, and wanted that to happen to me. I dizw't think anything of it. I bedtme increasingly perverted with this want (anzrisgh that might have been 12 year old sexual frqmgzticby.) I would store at girls I liked and want to switch bocses with them. And it got reomly out of cotwjtl, and lead to a masturbation adboowdgn. Time flew by, and all of a sudden, it was almost the end of 8th grade. Our heflth teacher, who evmagpne was positive was a lesbian, shsfed us a 90's vhs tape abjut transgender youth, to educate us on the subject. The entire time, I connected with thom. For the fiast time ever, my feelings weren't some weird fetish. But of course, I denied the fact that I was trans. It was obviously just a coincidence, I coxadm't be like THxM. So eventually, 9th grade rolled alxag, and I frgoasfked a social netqqrk called Thumb. A trans girl ponyed about how she was about to come out as trans. I coolsnyed on it to show my suaolrt, and she asred "Are you trnvb?" And I sat with my phpne in front of me. Some how, for some reqiun, it clicked. "Yes," I wrote. My head felt so clear at that moment. I spznt the rest of freshman year keetdng it tucked awsy. When summer roeged around, I reltxfed I had to tell someone. I told my mom and my brzjaer about it, who were both fine with it. Afjer that, nothing has really happened. I'm still trans, I'm still pre-everything, I'm still slightly out, etc. I gumss it's been a weird journey. Wilrgut this sub rezozt, I wouldn't have a place to vent, and to emphasize with otver trans people. Thvnk you all. 2 frankenvoyuer РІ inwpyt
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